When my Mom was here at the beginning of the month she made me go to the doctor, as I had had a yucky cough for about a week. I went and the diagnosis was bronchitis. I was told to take some mucinex and rest. HA! I have three kids ages three and under - my definition of rest is a five minute shower.
Over the course of the next two weeks, my cough got worse and I started having trouble breathing. Enough trouble that I stopped running so I wouldn't end up passed out on the sidewalk. Of course, I didn't go to the doctor. I figured it was allergies and ignored it. Chip made me go to the doctor again before he left for a work trip. They sent me for an x-ray and.... pneumonia. Evidently, if you don't rest enough and take care of yourself, your lungs say forget this and you end up with pneumonia. Two antibiotics and an inhaler, as well as orders for rest, with a follow up in a week. OF COURSE, this happened when Chip was going out of town. However, his sweet parents were coming down from Iowa to help with the kids.
Since Dawson and Ansley weren't feeling very well either, I took them to the doctor and we found out that Dawson had yet ANOTHER ear infection (right ear this time) and Ansley a bad cold. With all the sickness, we decided that Hayden would visit my parents in Texas for a weekend full of playing with cousins and way too much ice cream. He loved every second of it and I'm not quite sure he wanted to come back to boring old mom. :)
I'm extremely thankful that my in-laws were here to help with the twins and I've learned that I (surprise!) am not the best at resting. Judy had to literally tell me to go lie down. Why is it that we as moms so rarely take time for ourselves? When we do take a minute, it often rejuvenates us and makes us better. Are you like me and the entire time you're taking time for yourself, you hear that little mom guilt voice making you worry about if everyone is okay? Do you feel so much guilt about resting that you can't even take a nap? We need to stop that! Chip doesn't feel guilt about being away from the kids while he's at work or gone on a trip. Why do I feel guilty I'm working at 10 at night and I ask him to keep an eye on the twins? I shouldn't feel guilty that he takes the night shift while I get my first full night of sleep in six months, yet I do.
I need to get over this guilt. I'm doing the best I can! The enemy knows my weakness and attacks my vulnerability. He can go sit on a tack (to paraphrase a church camp song). God commands us to rest.
"There remains therefore a Sabbath rest for the people of God. For the one who has entered His rest has himself also rested from his works, as God did from His. Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall through following the same example of disobedience." Hebrews 4:9-11
I am praying now for God to calm my soul and to help me learn to rest. I need it to be the best mom I can be, physically and emotionally. No more guilt and anxiousness at the thought of resting and "letting" someone else take the reins for awhile. So what if the laundry piles up, So what if the dishes are not done? So what if the house is messy? As long as there are smiles on my three precious kids faces and I have a happy husband, the rest can be let go... I'm off to go get some rest and make this stupid pneumonia go away!
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