Sunday, September 29, 2013

The Days are Long & the Years are Short

I don't think that there is anything that makes you feel more helpless as a parent than being unable to help/comfort/soothe your child.  We went through so many months and doctors visits with Hayden for his ears (which lead to his first set of tubes at seven months with a second set of tubes & removal of his adenoid and tonsils at 21 months).  Unfortunately, Dawson is built very much like his brother. 

You forget how hard it is until you have a baby who is screaming in pain for hours on end and NOTHING you do helps.  Walking, bouncing, bottle, food, gas drops, lullabies, pacis, a swaddle, wearing him, rocking, standing ,Tylenol, gripe water... nothing helps and he just suddenly collapses on your chest doing that hiccup from crying in a little heap.  It's heartbreaking and frustrating.  Two months ago we went through three different antibiotics and finally ended up with three antibiotic shots (all during the week that Chip was out of town, our A/C went out, and I was swamped at work - because OF COURSE).  Dawson went to the doctor AGAIN when Chip was out of town and got a really strong antibiotic that helped his last ear infection from a few weeks ago.  No bueno.  We took him back on Friday (after he cried for 4 & 5 hours Wednesday and Thursday night - apparently, I'm still figuring out this parenting gig) and he got a shot.  He is still in so much pain (although it's better) and we go back for the twins well visits tomorrow (with a side visit for Hayden to get his flu vaccine).  The twins six month hearing check is on Tuesday at the ENT and I have a feeling that tubes will follow very shortly thereafter.

Our poor buddy - he scratches his face, ears and head because he's in so much agony.  Baths are torture because if the tiniest drop gets in his ear - it's over.  He loves to kick in the bath, but it's hard to explain  to a six month old not to kick so hard they get water on their face and possibly ear.  For some reason, he doesn't get it.  :)  He has an eczema patch on his cheek that flares red when he doesn't feel well.   It just breaks my heart! 

Right now, we have his pain under control with Tylenol and some garlic ear drops our pediatrician recommended.  My heart just breaks and I feel guilty that I can't give Ansley and Hayden as much attention because Dawson doesn't feel well.  A mother's guilt never ends, right?  I do know that I would walk across fire to take away my children's pain - I wish I could make it all better.  Since I can't, I do the best I can and am an advocate for my children.  I may have no backbone when it comes to standing up for myself, but I do for my kids.  They make me a better person, even when (or especially when) they're sick...

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