Confidence

"Mommy, I like math and I'm really good at it!"

"I can hit the ball WWAAAYYYY over the fence!  Wanna see me?"

"I"m super fast!"

"See my super strong muscles?"

"I'm going to grow as big as my Daddy!  I won't stop growing!"

"I can play football with those big kids!  They will like it!"

To have the complete self confidence of a three and a half year old.  I wish I had just a quarter of his energy and self esteem.  The funny things he says, with such complete certainty, warm my heart.  I want him (and Dawson & Ansley, too) to always be this confident.  I want him to know that he can truly do anything he wants because he can. 

When I look at Hayden and see that he has some of the same qualities and characteristics as me, it makes me proud.  I like myself more when I see myself reflected in him.  It gives me confidence.  Hayden has my smile, my eye shape, my sensitivity, love of books and temper.  He has Chip's athletic ability, love of shoes, easy going nature and sense of humor. 

It is our job as parents to instill confidence and to be that "soft place to land" for our kids.  Hayden can try new things, test boundaries, be his complete silly self and let it all go with us.  In turn, he sharpens me.  He teaches me to slow down, to have more patience, to let the housework and laundry go.  Seeing the world through his eyes is so much fun!  The yumminess that is a waffle sandwich, the fun in splashing water everywhere, the joy of helping, of laying on the ground with the babies, the cool factor of a bug and the payoff when you finally (carefully) catch it - all of these things I have learned from him.  Sure, I can teach him how to do certain things, but he is teaching me so much more - including being confident in who I am.

Into the Bush

Literally - that is what happened to me today. This morning. In my pajamas. I was dragged into a bush. Now, the story is quite funny. This morning. In my pajamas. Not so much.

It all started when I got the morning make out from Addison. She likes to wake us up in the morning by licking my face - even when my face is buried under a pillow. Actually, she especially likes to do it then. I think she likes the challenge. I stumble blurry-eyed downstairs in a mismatched shirt and pajama pants with flip flops to put the leashes on the girls. Normally, I use the harness on Addison so she won't pull, this morning - because of my sleepiness - I did not. BIG mistake.

After putting their leashes on, I opened the door and took the girls outside so they could go potty. Izzie and Addison both went, so we headed back inside so I could feed them breakfast and (hopefully) catch some more zzzz's. And this is when the craziness happened.

There was a toad hopping merrily along his way in the flower beds in front of our house. There was Izzie noticing the toad. Then, there was Izzie and Addison trying to catch said toad. I don't know - maybe they hoped to kiss him and he would turn into their dream doggie boyfriend?

I had a leash in each hand with my feet firmly planted trying to keep the girls from capturing the toad. Then I was skiing across dew-soaked grass in flip flops. Before I knew it, I was being drug by two dogs who seemed like they were trying out for the Iditirod. I ended up on my butt being drug until the bush stopped me. The toad was safe and hopped merrily away. The girls were disappointed. I was a wet mess.

I called Chip once I got the girls inside. I didn't seem the humor of the situation at that moment - Chip did, but politely covered the phone while he doubled over in laughter (he waited until I thought it was funny to tell me).

The girls did get breakfast and we laid on the couch together. They apologized for pulling me like a sled by letting me sleep on the couch for an hour. After I woke up, I wondered if maybe I had dreamed the whole bush incident. Not so much. I have a sore butt and mud caked pajama pants to prove it. That and skid marks in the grass.

I did take the girls on a walk - I braved the possibility of toads and other critters that I knew we could come across. This time - I was prepared with a harness and gentle leader. I admit that I lost my patience this morning after my run in with the bush - I did hold it together better than I would have in the past. I am learning patience - God is teaching me. His ways are creative I must admit. He will use dogs, irritated drivers, slow lines at stores - He knows that I need to learn this love characteristic and, for that, I am thankful.

Patience

This week the new chapter of my bible study book (Love as a Way of Life by Gary Chapman) is Patience. As anyone who knows me can attest, this is definitely an area that I need to work on. I say that I am a planner, that I am OCD - really, I am just not very patient. Granted, there are times when this is a benefit, for example - getting packed/unpacked, organizing events, getting "stuff" done. However, as Chapman notes, when you are running around in a rush with a hurried attitude, your relationships suffer. You have a spirit of impatience around you and it is difficult to shift gears and be patient with the person you are on the phone with, the store clerk, your family.
I can personally testify to how being patient can ruin or enhance an encounter. When I get stressed, I tend to get (more) emotional. My feelings get hurt and I feel very "woe is me" and am apt to throw myself a pity party. However, being patient can make even a frustrating situation much more pleasant. I tend to have very unrealistic expectations of myself - I try to be the best at whatever I do and expect more than is humanly possible from myself. I need to realize that it is okay, good even, to not be perfect and I don't need to try to be. I need to just be Lucia.
It is so true that making the choice to be patient can make an enormous difference. Chip is one of the most patient people I know. Being married to him has helped me to realize that, truly, it is good to just lay back and relax. To just be. He reminds me so much of my Dad - they both have this ability to stay cool under any situation and never raise their voices. Seeing the two of them with their dogs or with kids proves this even more. They both has this ability to be kind and so patient - even when the dog wants to go out for the 10th time in an hour or a little cousin is endlessly giving wet willies.
My challenge to myself this week is to put patience into action. I will strive to be both kind and patience. This means to not worry if I get stuck in traffic - it happens. To not be in a rush. To just enjoy and truly enjoy being in the moment. To not hurry. Patience is allowing someone to be imperfect and I am far from perfect. All I can do is try.

The points that Chapman challenges us to look at this week are to realize:

• People are not machines. They have ideas, emotions, desires, and perceptions that are different than mine.
• People don't work according to my priorities. Their agendas may be different from my own. I choose to respect the choices of others.
• People are always in process. I choose to give them time for growth. (including giving myself time for growth and not having to be valedictorian of everything)
• My patience creates a more productive atmosphere for helping others.